Sacred Sexuality – Reclaiming the Divine Feminine by A’ra Blair is a memoir/self-help book for any and all women (and men who want to know more about the heart and soul of women too). A’ra is brutally honest in recounting her own journey into embracing the Divine Feminine within herself, and she offers thoughtful journaling suggestions and exercises at the end of each chapter to help the reader do the same. Whether you need to overcome abuse, trauma, depression, or are just feeling less than “Divine,” this book will spring you forward into new realms of possibility in loving yourself, your partner and your life.
A’ra Blair is an accomplished Spiritual Life Coach and Counselor. Her 25 years of study and transformative work in spirituality, meditation, energy work, yoga, trauma resolution, quantum physics, relationship enhancement, and personal growth have prepared A’ra to live the qualities of the Divine Feminine in service to Humanity’s Wholeness.
1) What is the underlying message of your book?
A’ra: If I had to narrow it down to one sentence, I’d say it’s to find that deep self-love and self-acceptance that allows the full expression of who we are. Reclaiming the Divine Feminine is really about reclaiming who we are in our fullness, a union of our masculine and feminine essence. Both are needed to bring balance and connection into our lives at a deep level. Many of us have struggled with our sexuality in one sense or another and often shun, deny, or push into the shadows those parts of us with whom we feel ashamed or confused.
We have a hard time facing what it means to be sexual beings with Divine urges. We really haven’t had a model that holds our sexuality sacred. Yet Sacred Sexuality is our most intimate communion with the Divine. It’s a state that takes us beyond the physical realm of sex and orgasm to a connection with the deepest part of our being, our creative Source and life sustaining energy. In this depth lies a wholeness and love that transcends any transgression, doubt, or absurdity that exists in our human experience. This sacred union with Source heals and transforms our mind, body, and emotions. It releases the past and opens us to a supreme understanding of oneness, truth, and beauty.
Through intimacy with this inner Presence, transcendence occurs and life becomes a vehicle for the soul’s growth. When we reach this depth of understanding, everything in our experience becomes part of the sacred path of enlightenment. Everything! I guess you could say that’s the biggest message. Every part of our lives and our experiences are part of our sacred path, and we need to reclaim it all as holy.
A’ra: I’ve been on a spiritual path for many years and have studied many traditions. I had a rich, deep spiritual sense of my place in the world and the universe, but so much had happened to me around my sexuality, that even with that deep spiritual connection, I struggled facing parts of my experiences that weren’t so pleasant. When I started including the feminine in my exploration of the Divine I had a difficult time because I was raised with God as a man. I tried rephrasing all the masculine names and pronouns in order to really grasp that God was both masculine and feminine. However, it wasn’t until I actually called on the Goddess aspect of the Divine to show me what it means to know Spirit as both feminine and masculine that I got it. Something moved within me. It was like I was in the womb of the Goddess being birthed anew.
As I emerged, I felt this incredible sense of courage and commitment to do what it takes to live the qualities of the Divine Feminine in service to humanity’s wholeness. Right around that time I was invited to give a talk for Sacred Sisters, a woman’s support group. I’d been toying with the idea of creating a workshop around the Divine Feminine as an aspect of our Sacred Sexuality, so I threw it out to the Minister who ran the group. She loved it. The development and presentation of the workshop flowed. When I presented the first time, I felt like I was in the zone. I watched as women healed on so many different levels in so many different arenas. After I presented the workshop, these women wanted more. Longer, more in-depth workshops. While developing those, the book started writing itself through me. I went with the flow. When I Reclaimed the Divine Feminine, I fell madly and passionately in love with me.
3) What do you hope readers will take away from your book?
A’ra: I have three goals for what readers will take away:
First, The courage and confidence to fully express your beauty, your sensuality, your poise, your gifts and talents, and your power.
Second, The ability to embrace all of who you are as an authentic and unique expression of the Divine, even the not-so-pleasant choices, experiences, and traumas you may have had
Third, That you fall so deeply in unconditional love with yourself that no matter what anybody says to you or about you, no matter what anyone does to you, no matter how anyone shows up in relationship with you, you come so fully from self-love that you’re able to transform every experience into a loving experience.
4) Where do you find your inspiration to write?
A’ra: The practical sense is that it’s all around me. I read books and take classes on the topics I want to write about. I’ve been an avid journaler since my teen years. I love the feel of a pen in my hand, so writing is like walking to me. A song could inspire me or a life event, something in a speaker’s message, or an observation of someone having an extraordinary breakthrough. Most of my weekly blogs are on life events or circumstances, especially if it’s something that affects the collective. I also take classes on writing and use the tools that I’ve learned in my trade to do little writing assignments to get the juices running. That’s the practical side.
The metaphysical answer is that most of my inspiration comes from that still small voice. It’s not uncommon for the Divine to wake me up in the middle of the night with ideas that have to be written down or I’m not going to sleep or function. Since writing the book, my connection is even deeper, so the ideas and inspiration are constant. It’s hard to keep up. But I don’t have to. When I’m ready to write, I sit down and simply say on the page, “Okay, what do you want to write about?” I might pose some ideas to “wake inspiration up” so to speak, but then it flows. Oh and what a joy to watch this process unfold through me.
5) Was it hard or helpful to remember and recount the hardships you faced in your life?
A’ra: Both to the umpteenth degree. But, well worth it. It was difficult to face many of those experiences, knowing I was getting ready to put them out into the world. But if my story helps one person face her life and love it fully into wholeness, it was worth it. The best part of it is the catharsis it is. I feel so free and open to receive. I see now what a blessing every aspect of my life has been. What a wild and crazy ride, this thing called life. Even the most painful parts have now had an opportunity to leave my mind and body. To sit with me like a wounded friend, and I’ve been able to heal it all. This is my wish, hope, and dream for my readers. This type of cathartic experience into deep self-love.
6) Any advice for others who feel they have inspiration to share?
A’ra: Just start writing without any expectation that it has to become something. Write for you first. You are your best audience. Don’t be concerned with getting it perfect the first time. There are no great writers, only great re-writers. If you have a story to tell, with over seven billion people on the planet, I guarantee you that you have an audience that needs and wants to hear it. Writing is a gift and a curse. It’s an incredible experience to write a piece of inspiration and have that sense of “Wow, I wrote that!” But in the same breath, we writerly types tend to put our writing at the bottom of the priority list. We have so many other things we need to do and then it’s time for bed. We’re filled with ways to procrastinate. It’s part of being a writer. You have to step up your game and commit to writing on a weekly basis. And you can’t beat yourself up when you miss the mark. And don’t kid yourself. It’s not easy. But it is worth it! In a nutshell, never give up!