Musings and Reviews of Metaphysical, New Age and Meaningful Writings


Relationship experts and Huna philosophers all think blame and criticism is the #1 reason why relationships fail. Most couples split up, family members stop talking or business partnerships fail because one or both of the parties gets tired of being blamed or criticized.

What is the best and quickest way to stop it?

When you’re blaming someone, what you’re really doing is pointing the finger at them and saying “Hah! It’s your fault. You’re wrong.” Then, that person typically comes back and says, “No, it’s your fault…” and this can go on in an endless loop.

When you catch yourself starting to blame or you’re having critical thoughts about your partner or colleague, make a pleasant “Hmmm….” sound. And what this does is it shifts you out of your “critical” brain into your “wonder” brain.

So, you can say to yourself, “Hmmm… I wonder what I could learn from this.” Or “Hmmm… I wonder how I’m contributing to this situation.”

When you do this, an immediate change takes place in your connection with the person you were previously blaming or criticizing.

Try this the next time you have a critical thought, and watch real miracles open up in your relationships! And of course, work on keeping your heart chakra open to love and compassion – listen to my free Chakra Meditation at http://www.thechakras.org.
Namaste! Becca Chopra, author of The Chakra Diaries

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Comments on: "Avoid the #1 Relationship Killer" (1)

  1. Namaste Becca. Following your lead, I have been doing a lot of Hmmm’ing lately but hopefully will soon be able to shift my chronically negative thinking away from blame and criticism and follow the rainbow to acceptance, understanding and aloha.

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